Poseidon Rap
by I'M DR COOPER . BAGZINGA
Summary: Athena is out for revenge. AND, to Percy' burden, she's out for revenge on posidon. She has rummaged through his belongings and discovered a dirty little secret. PEN NAME CHANGED KOWLOONKAE  I'M DR COOPER BAZINGA.
1. Discovering secrets of a god

_Poseidon rap._

**AUTHORS NOTE: I don't own any thing rick roirdan does. Also Micheal Rosan owns the beat of the rap :D**

It was a normal day at camp half blood well as normal as it could be being a demi god.

Percy and Annabeth were laughing together Connor and Travis were pick-pocketing Clarisse who was trying to beat them to a pulp.

Some people never learn.

Meanwhile on Olympus Athena was routing through all of Poseidon's things and trying to dig up some dirt on the "sea scum".

That, of course, was when she found something that would change life (and a couple of people's pride) as we know it.

"WELCOME CAMPERS," Chiron cheered "now please…"

That's when he was interrupted by Athena causally zapping herself into camp.

Of course all the demi-gods stood in respect for wisdoms great goddess.

"Sit heroes please! As you know Poseidon has been my rival for many a millenium and I would love to show you this little piece of how do i put this? REVENGE Apollo gave me!"

As Athena spoke her face was gleaming with pride. A grin spread across her face which made people wonder if she was hear to kill batman or just hyped up on coffee.

Percy frowned as the video started.

All was black then Poseidon apeared performing one of the worst efforts at beat boxing ever wittnessed in the last millenia.

Finally when the picture cleared you could see Poseidon wearing: an extra large pair of rainbow coloured m c hammer pants some matching braces and an awful 60's knitted jumper.

His hair was long and braided round the sides but shinny and bold at the top.

The look on Percy's face was price less.

_The Poseidon Rap._

_**My names Poseidon,**_

_**My sons called triton,**_

_**I cheated on my wife with sally Jackson,**_

_**Sally had a son,**_

_**Then married Gabe.**_

_**When the kid got older he went to Hades,**_

_**Right there in the underworld,**_

_**He retrieved the bolt, then found the crook,**_

_**Then the ladies all got hooked,**_

_**Except from Athena (Athena).**_

_**He killed medusa and took the head home,**_

_**Sally used it to turn Gabe to stone,**_

_**Now he lives happily as a garden gnome.**_

_**A hip hop hip hop hap**_

_**Apollo helped me with this rap-rap-rap-rap. **_

_**I was born three thousand years ago,**_

_**I grow up in my dad's stomach-o,**_

_**I have two brothers,**_

_**Hades and Zeus,**_

_**At every solstice we have a chocolate mouse.**_

_**I am the god of the sea,**_

_**Have an underwater palace as big as can be.**_

_**A hip hop hip hop hap**_

_**This is called the Poseidon rap-rap-rap-rap.**_

Percy just stared at the screen with a shocked expression.

Nobody knew wether it was due to the awful video or the fact that he was related to that ... man?

At the end Poseidon through in some crazy dance moves and tried (and failed might I add ) to do a shakira impression.

Everyone was laughing their butts off!

Percy shook his head and screamed to the sky

"why me?"

And with that he fainted to the floor in embarrassment.

**Authors note: mwhahahah I love this fanfiction world.**

**I am confirmining that this will become a two-shot, if u want me to create raps for the others all of this is crack filled so... review and stuff**


	2. THE GOD WITNESS THE VIDEO

**A/N: I DON'T THINK THIS IS AS GOOD AS THE ORIGINAL BUT NOTHING BEATS THE ORIGINAL ONE. **

**PLEASE NOTE I HAVE CHANGED MY NAME FROM KOWLOONKAE TO I'M SHELDON COOPER . BAZINGA.**

**DISCLAIMER: MICHEAL ROSAN OWNS THE RAP BEAT, I DON'T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT THE MAJORITY OF THE WORDS.**

**SO HERE U HAVE IT THE GODS WATCHING THE VIDEO.**

Will solstice carried percythe poseidon cabin, with the aid of annabeth of course. when the arrived back at the dinning pavilion every was just recovering from the laughter enfourced be the visit of the godess of wisdom.

Nico and the Stolls where huddled together giggling and laughing at the far end of the dinning pavilion.

"Whatcha' doin'" annabeth asked her athenan (?) curiosity getting the better of her.

"Were gonna take the viedo of the Poseidon rap, as we call it, then we are going to give the viedo to hermes,he is going to show every olympian going. oh and i'm also gonna taking the mick out of kelp head because he stained my floor with cool-aid." nics stated matter of factly.

"I'm in" Annabeth grinned, her smile made us understand that the joker must have been a dumb son of athena if thats even possible?

"Hello rulers of olympus," Connor yelled, voice echoing of the empty eerie halls that lead away from the throne room where pratically every god major or inor was crammed into the space. athena even magically expanded the room so every one could see the huge cinima screen aphrodite had zapped in.

"Your about to whitness oming horrible something so terrifying it even scares hades!" he continued

"drum roll please demi-gods," travis yelled, and annabeth nico and connor did as instructed " the poseidon rap"

Before it even started athena and apollo burst into fits of hysterical laughter whilest poseidon looked quizical.

all of the others had their eyes glued to the screen.

_**my names poseidon,**_

_**my son's called triton"**_

Poseidon started.

the olympians were already in hysterics from the ranidow colour clothes, even iris.

hermes glanced over at apollo and said telipathically "You helped him with this rap?"

"Yeh" Apollo replied beaming with pride

"well not only do you suck at poetry you also suck at raping"

"i know that's why i helped" apollo smirked, and for once he made sense.

after video had finished all the olympians deicieded it was only fair to summon the sea gods spouce and humilliating him and creating what would surly become an internet sensaton onto youtube the video and the poor kids reaction.

also a couple copies could be sent to the underworld and even the esyluim,asphodel feilds of punishment and mabye even tarurus coz every deserves al laugh dont they?

**i think that might be all xoxox**


End file.
